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Sunday, September 27, 2009
you'd think after all the months of practice i'd be a pro in this. i concede. so what if it's been two weeks. i'm still raw, and it aches.
the age old trick of ldrs for staying sane is keeping busy. it may be my holidays but i'm cram packed busy, most probably an subconscious self-defense for the heart. from work, to outings, to parties, to sleep. i'm guilty as it is to not have time to squeeze in studying. yes i know i'm fried once school recommences.
but it's in the midst of scurrying - perhaps right when i'm so absorbed in that moment's task i forget about shielding the emotions - i become vulnerable again. everything, and anything can be linked to him.
the same explanations why i freeze for just a second, when someone orders rum and raisin. why my laugh seems a tad bit distant these weeks with his brothers' silly antics - the monkeys are more alike than what people give credit for. why i unknowingly pick my outfits in combinationssuch that so it'll clash with the grey scarf - foolish into thinking the cupboard could contain his scent for another day.
i'm still learning, but i'm pondering: maybe what i'm doing wrong this time is the preoccupation to keep it all in check. does it translate to keeping it all in? embodying me a bottled bubbling champagne, and every single tilt i leak just a little. maybe what i need is a hearty shake, pop the cork and let it flow, let it flow. and till next time, another celebratory bottle.
then the talk.
i wish we could rewind and rescript the conversation. wish he could unsay those words. i wonder of the motive. act of love or hidden reasons? but mainly i wonder if i've ever met someone so understanding. and if i deserve it. baby i dont wanna make any decisions, but how can things revert to normal now that questions are left unanswered?
but seriously. seriously. i'm still a teenager! (okay fine just a month left) point is!: whats wrong with uncertainty? also, surely there must be other ways for me to realise. right now, i'm not gonna fix what's not broken.
dont look at me, i'm just being an irrational teenager.
Posted at 12:04 pm by -sulynn-
 | | | sulynn
September 30, 2009 01:46 AM PDT
khai:
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
for several reasons:
#1 you're commenting on my blog!
#2 hahahahaha little root?!
#3 as strong as you? hahahaha
but thanks :) haha but seriously i burst out laughing reading this :P | |
| | | Hoi
September 30, 2009 01:46 AM PDT
with ure free Halloween costume | |
| | | Name
September 30, 2009 01:45 AM PDT
yeah u damn kuat la..... | |
| | | KhAi
September 29, 2009 09:53 PM PDT
cant believe im actually commenting on ure blog, but stay strong little root! one day you will be as strong as me! | |
| | | Ping
September 28, 2009 04:06 PM PDT
hahahaha you took the quote out of my head.. hehehe | |
| | | sulynn
September 27, 2009 11:20 PM PDT
jiale:
REPLIED ALREADY. you must tell me story first!!!!!
emily:
yes faster come back!!! i miss you too. in fact i think we all see each other more regularly during normal weeks than holidays! :(
ping:
yay thanks babe. and yeah it doessss. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger right! | |
| | | Ping
September 27, 2009 09:29 PM PDT
I'm sure it aches but in a way it make you stronger too. hugs hugs. and you are a not an irrational teenager. hmmp. | |
| | | Emily T
September 27, 2009 07:50 PM PDT
Susu girl talk soon okay! I miss you! And everybody else too :( Can't wait to see you girls again! | |
| | | jialejiale
September 27, 2009 05:04 PM PDT
babe... reply me :'( hug hug hugggg. lots of love from singaporeok :( hurry reply me on adium! | |
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su lynn.
nineteen.
melbourne uni.
monash university.
taylor's university college.
smk subang utama.
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