 |
|
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
can i say i'm dissapointed when historical behavior shows i'll eventually fall into that lousy cycle of procrastination-> panic-> stress -> sleep -> procrastination etc.? i keep telling myself i'll kick this procrastination in the shin and show who's boss, but once again i fall into this familiar mess. :( it's as if my body wont know how to function otherwise!
ah well. may as well fulfill my exam-blogging quota and not kid myself into believing this time, i'll be able to stay off blabbering gibberish for your viewing pleasure.
i actually need to rant. like fullout SHOUT rant rant. but i just spent a whole 3.5hours doing necessary nonsense (oxymoron at its best heh), another 1.5hour trying to calm myself down, so revisiting those emotions will just render that past 5 hours worthless. not like it was of any worth in the first place. argh. *deep breaths* but seriously, O body, mind and soul of mine, why so serrrriouusss?
someone's gotta tell me i need to let the world swivel (out of control, methinks) by its own. que sera, sera.
heck it i'll just post up some random pics (then STUDY!!)
stolen from janice's fb album. guess where we were!! (no, we were not dressed as creepy deranged mermaids who eat your toes up once we seduce you into the hot tub with us for halloween)
see! no fins! human beings! in peninsula hot springs on a pretty spontaneous road trip. so spontaneous that we came unprepared for extra clothings and was contemplating skinny dipping (heh kidding! onlookers might die of fright of 3 asian fat dumplings bobbing around nude in the springs). so we bought bikinis from a surf place outlet nearby, some dodgy 10 minutes away.
prior to that we were feasting our eyes with beautiful beautiful tulips at the tulip festival!
at the 4some birthday bash which i, the supposedly celebrated girl (the 3 kings: kit, daniel & eujinn) of the event remained thankfully sober (my legitimate excuse of the night: i refuse to go to work with a hangover!!)
isnt october full of birthdays?
like mine! oh i love happy mail <3
from the girls <3 its funny how friendship can blossom into something so beautiful and precious in the short span of months! i get withdrawal symptoms if i dont get my weekly sessions! thankyou ping, em, janice and kaye for the presents!
pre-party calamity. haih. serves me right to always be rushing when i'm getting ready! but fret no more cos the girls bought me a new one!! *points picture above!* :)
what's with the human obsession with beauty and everything that glitters anyway? as much as we deny it, we humans will always be visual beings first, sensibility/rationality second.
hyper at 6.48pm,
sulynn.
p.s. diediediediedie. no seriously, i'm under house arrest. and hopefully (unlikely) a blogging hiatus.
Posted at 01:47 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
Thursday, October 29, 2009
today is perfect.
spring finally hit melbourne, in fact it was so warm i think it's borderline summer (any warmer and i'll start cursing the heat. cold > heat anytime)
spring dresses and shorts!
florals and flip flops!
sunnies and attitude!
there's a spring in the steps unimelb students took today as we shrugged off the outer jackets and lay on the green green grass. they say you're not truly 'australian-ised' until you bin those asian practicalities and just lay in the grass soaking in the sun. i'm not the biggest fan, but something about today made me wanna throw my macro notes and just.. be australian. how do they always seem so carefree? finals are in a week!!!!! people should be zombie-fied! grumpy! panicking! *attempts to induce a sense of urgency into the chilled-out aussie culture*
today:
good music (and good voice!)- check
received a (pretty much) satisfied h1 assignment back- check
bubble tea- check
not (that) late for classes yay! - check
free food- check
free beer- check
sat through last lecture for the semester (for the year!) next to a very tipsy ming who had drank 5 bottles of aforementioned free beer- check
hahaha. really, see. today is perfect. how can we possibly be angry at spring?
and perfect it shall remain, as i churn out 3000 words for my essay due tmr! watch me! (at this point if you cant already tell, i'm being scarily positive. 3000 words. progress thus far: 0 words. but its okay cos i've done my research! and because today is perfect! right! right!)
truth to be told, prolly the reason why everything seems perfect today is cos i'm in denial. and extremely jittery. people tell me i'm cant stop talking! and eating! and skipping! and fiddling! and doodling! do you think i'm secretly panicking inside?
but hor, if today is perfect, how come the spring wear i put on appears to hug me more snugly than it used to? :(((((
WOKAY. PERFECT MEDICINE VOYAGE ESSAY COMING YOUR WAY!
(heh i'm damn tempted to insert silly lines like 'AHOY THERE MATE!' or 'ALL ABROAD!!' inside but i dont think my tutor would be very amused. sorry lah read through 100++ pages of journals+logs+diaries of voyage stories and deaths i feel like a pirate already)
ok shit. anymore procrastination and I"LL be man overboard :( ta!
Posted at 01:54 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
Sunday, October 25, 2009
i'm reluctant as hell to dispose the suffix '-teen', so twenteen it is!
it's our birthday today! :)
faster wish ric and i happy birthday! buy us presents! treat us like the king and queen we are today!
actually, whoever that truly loves me will do my assignment for me! can?
Posted at 12:00 am by -sulynn-
Permalink
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
fuzzy lil pillow thoughts
feels like i'm in this tangled web that i spun, but it actually isnt that complicated, really. take two steps back and another glance, i guess you can even call it a beautiful mess.
so so silly, to be so clouded and flustered. but here i am.
what i need right now, is to be less caught up in those fluster of thought bubbles, and channel my energy into these few weeks of crazy workload.
i try, i try. but i find myself in the atypical stress-sleeping marathon of mine. i also just got back from a movie (500 days of summer! i loved it!), and the supposedly quiet hardcore weekend is somehow boasting a happy event or two which i extremely look forward to, but dread its dismissal. the end of the weekend would be quickly replaced by the horror of the final week of semester 2.
then i fantasize about home. i will be home soon! reunited with the parents, the family, the friends, and oh, THE FOOD. the prospect of being home gets me smilling gleefully at my medicine notes (assgn due next week DIE LA DIE)!
today should be a happy day. today is a happy day. i need not repeat it to mean it. but yeah, on other days, today is a happy day. i received happy mail packages, both in the post and the hotmail inbox. <3 i am one very lucky, blessed girl.
i just dont know if i deserve it.
they say all you need is love and sunshine.
you can have love, you can have sunshine. but what you need most is the heart to soak it all in.
hyper at 11.40pm,
sulynn.
p.s. i love my parents, and wished i could make daddy smile more.
Posted at 07:32 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
Saturday, October 17, 2009
with love from 10550 miles away
one thing you should know about me: i can sleep. alot.
i have a spectacular ability to sleep through multiple alarms, calls, messages.. you get the drift. but on that tuesday evening, i woke up in a jolt- no alarms nothing. i cant quite explain how or why, but i just had the intense feeling: he's coming. today.
never scorn a woman's intuition for it truly is a lethal weapon.
i marched to tert's room and just 2 minutes into our conversation i couldnt hold it in any longer. "is hoi coming tonight?" she frozed. paused. then replied "no. is he?!?" looking back, i could tell she was in immense pressure to think on her feet and to choose the best strategy. she chose the good friend investigator card. good call tertlord!
i was adamant on finding the car keys. demanding to know why the kitchen and toilet has been cleaned. wondering why he coincidentally ran out of credit that day. i realised i was a walking nutjob, emitting all sense of craziness.
i had dinner at the loft, eating absentmindedly, pretending to watch the guys play PS3 but actually witnessing an internal debate inside me. the side that was winning: the one telling myself i'm going psycho- i'm probably just too excited about tomorrow i'm overreacting. kahkit teased, "so, someone wont be getting any sleep tonight!" and my brain went into overdrive. so he's coming?! no, kit simply meant i'd be too excited to be able to sleep silly. everything someone said seemed uber dubious!
then tert called to say she's taking the car out for dance, and nothing else, reassuring me not to overthink. i tried to supress the sneaky suspicion in me and told myself, she's right. i've ought to get a grip, i'm being all pathetic! i wore my headband, tied the short hair up, and decided to study. (but of course, the hair was too short to be tied and all i achieved was a hairstyle resembling the behind of a chicken).
unsurprisingly, i couldnt focus.
another thing you should know about me: grooming soothes my soul.
tweezer in one hand and a handhelf mirror in another, i began shaping my eyebrows. i finally began to feel calmer, and managed to push hoi completely out of my mind. i geared myself in the productive spirit: i needed to accomplish as much as i can tonight before he comes. THEN, when i was midway tackling the right brow, my room door slid open.
*cue dramatic music*
chup. first, an important digression! a visual representation of how i looked: yellow baggy school sports shirt, black home slacks, funky chicken backside hairshow complete with the fringe all pushed up, and in my hands, the tweezer and mirror.
in short: like a dweeb.
i turned and there he was standing by the door with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "oh my god" escaped my lips. i turned back to my initial position and continued to tweeze another two stray strands as my system digested what my pupils saw. (tert found that immediate reponse of mine hilarious haha). maybe its cos i fought so hard to persuade myself he wasnt coming that i was in dire denial.
but next thing you know, i went running to him.. and started throwing punches at his tummy. my first words being "i hate you!!!" and his were "ouchh!". i accomplished all these while still rocking the chicken backside hairstyle. i know right, i'm completely lovable. :P he prolly mustve regretted getting on the plane.
and that, pretty much sums up my unglamorous first encounter with the boyfriend after months, when he decided to surprise me a day earlier.
i'll end this with one last fun fact about myself: i'm completely unromantic.
in fact i think i was borderline cynical about love. i mean i did believe in happy endings and although i do gush over sweet love stories/flicks, i put my foot down when reality involved me. i cringed at corny lines, silently mocked lame coupley tshirts and got worked up when girls had to text hourly whereabouts to their boyfriends. hello?! obsessive much? last i check a dog leash wasnt in fashion!
(sorry got abit overboard heh)
but look at me now. i'm immune to his mushiness, i think coupley merchandise arent as lame as before (though still not the biggest fan) and i am guilty of actually updating him where i am in time to time. (granted, not as frequent as i would like, but in my defense i'm not the best sms replier!) goodness knows what spell hoi casted to reel me a convert.
i have ldr to push all the blame on but i'm gonna confess: i'm utterly clueless into planning anything sweet with the distance barrier. i hope my present of the leather jacket would suffice. that and, my simple sincere wish of:
happy birthday baby! <3 i miss you and wished i was there to celebrate with all your friends!
love,
sulynn.
Posted at 12:00 am by -sulynn-
Permalink
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
just handed in 2 assignments, another 2 to go T___T and both are super hard! macro about convergence and the 60% research essay for medicine *fearful*
it's like a make or break it research essay, that one. i'm honestly absolutely shaken about that. 60%!!! WHY did i take this subject again?! looking at the questions also can cry. among the 11, these 3 appealed to me (mainly cos i can actually comprehend what they're asking for lah sigh)
> Take a part of the body (eg the heart, the eye, the uterus) and discuss the history of its description by anatomists over time. You should use a lot of illustrations and discuss their production. OR you could discuss the history of a surgical technology, eg. wound treatment, obstetrical forceps, chloroform.
> Midwives v. Doctors
The conduct of childbirth remains an arena of contemporary medicine where historical disputes still matter. Have the advocates of midwifery mis-used/used history to justify their claim to better practice compared to hospital, doctor-controlled obstetrics?
> After the disastrous voyage of the second fleet, convict and government immigrant ships to Australia in the nineteenth century were remarkable for the good health of the human 'cargo'. How did this happen?
See the work of Robin Haines. You should also make some comparisons with slave voyages and Irish immigrant voyages across the Atlantic. Look up 'health at sea', maritime medicine, slave voyages and health, 'coffin ships' etc. You may want to include some immigrant diaries or surgeons' logs in your primary sources.
i'm sorta leaning towards the last one cos as interesting as the first one sounds, i am up agaisnt hopeful doctors/nurses (in fact 3 in my tute are already practicing -.-), and that is the only question we're allowed to used technical terms. i am clearly on the losing end.
sigh. this is only the assignments. finals are around the corner and hahaha i'm clueless for all my subjects. goodbye (already nonexistant) social life cos i am doomed. :( can i celebrate my birthday 1 month later this year? :((((
i hate it when i'm stressed cos all i do is SLEEP! and eat! argh! i sleep so much it's scary. productivity i seeek youuuuuu.
from this point forward, i will (aim to) give up:
*the internet (but somehow my blogging spree starts at exam seasons boo)
*the world outside wtf
*and most importantly:
AVOID LYING DOWN!   I WILL RESIST! SAY NO TO: 
BED = EVIL!!!!
hyper at 720pm,
sulynn
haih typing this makes me sleepy. HOW :(
Posted at 03:39 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
so many times i open this page wanting to blog about day-to-day old-style chiong-hei description of what hoi and i did from day1-14. but heh, guess i'm just not cut out for that. plus last few posts are all already hoi-ri-fied, you all not sien meh. :P (heh, joking baby. joke! laugh!)
it's also because i'm chasing time right now. daylight savings robbed me 1 hour from the 4390543 hours i'm already behind, die la. i was suppose to catch up on many weeks of lectures and tutes during the holidays, but we all know the ending to that story heee. so right now, i very gravely need a lockdown to accomplish alot of things, since i'm working too, with 4 more assignments and finals coming up.
champion me also JUST realised one of them is this friday. hahahahahaha.hahaha.haha.haha.ha.hah.ahah.a
:) this is me, procrastinating in denial.
to wish the gorgeous bestie HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
 happy 20th dear. wished we were there with you to celebrate. :( why must so many of my loved ones be so far from me.    this was taken at tertlord's bday back in winter. <3
xoxo
hyper at 10.45am,
sulynn.
Posted at 07:22 am by -sulynn-
Permalink
Sunday, September 27, 2009
you'd think after all the months of practice i'd be a pro in this. i concede. so what if it's been two weeks. i'm still raw, and it aches.
the age old trick of ldrs for staying sane is keeping busy. it may be my holidays but i'm cram packed busy, most probably an subconscious self-defense for the heart. from work, to outings, to parties, to sleep. i'm guilty as it is to not have time to squeeze in studying. yes i know i'm fried once school recommences.
but it's in the midst of scurrying - perhaps right when i'm so absorbed in that moment's task i forget about shielding the emotions - i become vulnerable again. everything, and anything can be linked to him.
the same explanations why i freeze for just a second, when someone orders rum and raisin. why my laugh seems a tad bit distant these weeks with his brothers' silly antics - the monkeys are more alike than what people give credit for. why i unknowingly pick my outfits in combinationssuch that so it'll clash with the grey scarf - foolish into thinking the cupboard could contain his scent for another day.
i'm still learning, but i'm pondering: maybe what i'm doing wrong this time is the preoccupation to keep it all in check. does it translate to keeping it all in? embodying me a bottled bubbling champagne, and every single tilt i leak just a little. maybe what i need is a hearty shake, pop the cork and let it flow, let it flow. and till next time, another celebratory bottle.
then the talk.
i wish we could rewind and rescript the conversation. wish he could unsay those words. i wonder of the motive. act of love or hidden reasons? but mainly i wonder if i've ever met someone so understanding. and if i deserve it. baby i dont wanna make any decisions, but how can things revert to normal now that questions are left unanswered?
but seriously. seriously. i'm still a teenager! (okay fine just a month left) point is!: whats wrong with uncertainty? also, surely there must be other ways for me to realise. right now, i'm not gonna fix what's not broken.
dont look at me, i'm just being an irrational teenager.
Posted at 12:04 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
Monday, September 14, 2009
ice queen reclaims her throne
oh i should talk about hoi. and the last 2 weeks. from the day-early surprise up to the littlest, most minute detail of what we ate, seen, done, touched (now pinkytham, keep all thoughts to yourself!)(wah now everything must be re-read and interpreted in her language).
i ought to bore you with all the mushy corny stories, cos i long to retain the memories; the colour of my shoes that tuesday, that first kiss in the lift down 26 floors, the noises and grunts he conjures (the pig snores, grinds teeth, mumbles and all) when he's sound asleep; before they fade into dusty patchy recollections.
but i wont. not just yet.
our first pic the second night before watching the inglorious basterds. spot the happy new bag!! :D
seeing my crazy schedule for the coming days, it shouldnt be too hard. *hopeful* i have an assignment to rush, lectures and tutes to catch up on when i was on my hoi-liday, 3 nights-work shift this week (i'm working at freddo's now!), and my uncle+aunt and family are coming yippee! i think i miss home abit too much somtimes.
that and, spring breakkkk :) royal melbourne show and tulip farms, watch out for me!
okay sulynn. it's business time. chop chop lets get it started!
tomorrow marks a longgg day at uni and work. :(
the new countdown marker starts at 10 months. behold the joy of LDRs.
Posted at 11:33 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
remember how i was whinning my ass off about my broken camera? i'm a lucky girl cos mommy shipped hers over via Jiat Express so i'm using hers temporarily until i get a new one back in msia! i'm leaning towards a new lumix, cos although it was broken and blind, check out the pretty awesome shots!
this one was where bubble tea led to supper, which led to endless chatter and gossips (which next thing you know, it was breakfast time!), and that led to ordering breakfast at 5am, then finally a spur-of-the-moment decision of catching the sunrise at st kilda. <3
that, and i must be so connected to my camera that i'm a pro at it. had no idea what i was snapping and was pleasantly surprised with the outcome when i uploaded them on the comp :) more on *fb*.
then, it was exactly a countdown of one more month.
my last entry marked one week.
as of now. one day!! 1111111111
god it's been forever! i'm swarmed with all kinds of emotions its crazy.
excited! eager. elated. exasperated. exhilirated! (wah i can really churn out damn alot of e's) scared. jubilant! relieved. nervous. anxious. contented. impatient. overjoyed! apprehensive. but mostly, very excited!
so for next two weeks, i get midsems, assignments, work(?) (no seriously, am i hired? *fingers crossed), and the boyfriend.
it's gonna be crazy. and i'm going to love every minute of it. (he prolly wont though cos he gotta deal with bitchy me when i'm stressed with everything else, and has no choice but to pamper and pacify me haha :P)
hyper at 11.46pm,
sulynn.
p.s. su lynn is too common a name i swear! not only in real life but here in cyberspace; another sulynn from deviant art just commented at my last post haha. *waves hello*
Posted at 09:22 pm by -sulynn-
Permalink
|
|
 |
su lynn.
nineteen.
melbourne uni.
monash university.
taylor's university college.
smk subang utama.
|
|
|
